Having someone to share your time with in an intimate way brings joy to many of our lives. Our relationship beginnings start with excitement and risk-taking that move our bonds closer with our partners. As we take steps to increase vulnerability, we expose our tender and sometimes raw emotions that are connected to historical experiences. We ask for our partner's patience as we learn, unlearn, and grow. As greater connections develop, dysfunctional relationship patterns and past traumas can begin to show up in ways that are often outside of our awareness. It makes sense that some fear and defensiveness develop. After all, there is a lot at risk; this is someone we love.
Our relationships can also be impacted by conflict, distrust, or infidelity that disrupts every part of our lives. When these struggles erupt, our attempts to repair them can make things worse if we don’t have the tools we need. It can begin to feel like you are out of options, you have tried everything, and although you love your partner, you don’t know how or if you want to move forward. How do you rebuild that trust? What would that even look like? What would it mean to walk away? What would it look like to stay?
Our friends and families are a great support, but they may not always know how to get us to see how we are participating in the conflict. They may not see that the skills we have to attempt resolution may actually be the root of the problem. The best way to help may be to explore the dynamics of your relationships in therapy.
I work with all types of partnerships with all ways of loving. If you are monogamous, non-monogamous, LGBTQIA+, multi-cultural, or any other of the multiple ways of loving, I am here to support you.
Set up a free consultation today.